Liturgy for the Demise of a Laptop?

Regular readers will have noticed a slowing of posts – this isn't blog fatigue. My laptop has terminal symptoms and I'm in the process of replacing it. So blogging opportunities are a bit limited.

Is there a Laptop Funeral Liturgy out there? All you imaginative, contextual and practical theologians – are there appropriate words and prayers for a dying computer – loss of memory (RAM), terminal slowness (AGE), loss of communication (wi-fi and cable!), the detectable disintegration of the life force (processor / Hard Drive). And words of thanksgiving for a friend who has put up with my thinking and writing, surfing and downloading, key-board hammering and frantic mouse movements for years. It wouldn't be true to say nobody had a bad word to say about my computer – I often did! Nor that it never did anyone any harm – it lost a lot of my stuff!

But it has been a long time companion; there are many things I couldn't have done without it. It has kept me in touch with hundreds of people, dozens of colleagues and many a friend. It shares my enthusiasm for photographs and has happily stored years of digital images which are part of the story of my life. It has travelled 17000 miles a year with me for the past 4 years, and apart fro  cracked casing is still in one piece.

So a prayer of thanksgiving for a Laptop to celebrate how a wee machine can be such an important part of life. OK – that has gone as far as it can go. It's a flipping computer not a person; technology not human; disposable, replaceable and obsolete – unlike human beings.

Next week or so I'll post when I can.

Comments

3 responses to “Liturgy for the Demise of a Laptop?”

  1. Graeme Clark avatar
    Graeme Clark

    A Laptop Lament
    Today we lament the life of my compatible companion
    and personal pal who has come to her digital demise.
    We mourn the parting of her pixels,
    lumens now lost to the blackness of blank screen,
    tired keys once carefully caressed now cased and contained;
    her soft ware is worn,
    her hard drive is down,
    her battery blown.
    Time for the last log out has come,
    megabytes will bite no more.
    You lived wittily and well
    cracked but not corrupted,
    deleted, dated, devalued, defunct,
    yet your memory lives on,
    in forwarded files,
    transferred transactions,
    amazonian acquisitions,
    and NSA notations.

  2. Graeme Clark avatar
    Graeme Clark

    A Laptop Lament
    Today we lament the life of my compatible companion
    and personal pal who has come to her digital demise.
    We mourn the parting of her pixels,
    lumens now lost to the blackness of blank screen,
    tired keys once carefully caressed now cased and contained;
    her soft ware is worn,
    her hard drive is down,
    her battery blown.
    Time for the last log out has come,
    megabytes will bite no more.
    You lived wittily and well
    cracked but not corrupted,
    deleted, dated, devalued, defunct,
    yet your memory lives on,
    in forwarded files,
    transferred transactions,
    amazonian acquisitions,
    and NSA notations.

  3. Graeme Clark avatar
    Graeme Clark

    A Laptop Lament
    Today we lament the life of my compatible companion
    and personal pal who has come to her digital demise.
    We mourn the parting of her pixels,
    lumens now lost to the blackness of blank screen,
    tired keys once carefully caressed now cased and contained;
    her soft ware is worn,
    her hard drive is down,
    her battery blown.
    Time for the last log out has come,
    megabytes will bite no more.
    You lived wittily and well
    cracked but not corrupted,
    deleted, dated, devalued, defunct,
    yet your memory lives on,
    in forwarded files,
    transferred transactions,
    amazonian acquisitions,
    and NSA notations.

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