Social Distancing Increases Misunderstandings and Unhelpful Standoffs.

I posted this yesterday on my Facebook page. For those here who might be interested: Here's the problem:

Coronavirus_460PXAn elderly man in M&S, looking a bit confused and uncertain, hovering around the end of the food aisle. He isn't wearing a mask, and absorbed in making up his mind has moved closer to another customer, though still a few feet away.
This customer begins to speak forcefully to him to get back two metres, which puzzles him and I think makes him uncertain what he's doing wrong. She continues to lay down the rule, 'TWO METRES' as if saying it louder makes it clearer, a bit like English speakers abroad thinking their meaning is somehow translated by turning up the volume and speaking slowly.

The guidance is wear a mask in enclosed public spaces; neither was doing so. The elderly man was unaware of the problem; the lady in question was making it worse by raising her voice in volume and intensity directly at the target of her ire.

It's hard to know how to intervene helpfully when wearing a mask; apart from anything else it muffles the voice making it hard to be heard from two metres away. I'd need to take the mask off to say what I wanted to say clearly, and kindly.

NicolaStill troubled at the checkout, the teller whom I know, without me saying anything, was saying her day was fine but some of the customers are "just horrible." I was left wondering about how to encourage kindness, love and solidarity, which I think is superb civic and ethical guidance from the Scottish Government.

Put a random number of people in a public enclosed space, some with masks, some not; those without masks presumably think they'll risk being infected, missing the point that it is for other people's protection. Those wearing masks do so because it is the guidance, because they care for others and don't want to increase the risk to others, because it makes you feel safer even if it isn't all that effective…various reasons.

But what you have in the shop are people who are anxious for themselves but not for others, people who are complacent about their own chances and no thought for others, some who are aware of the guidance and its rationale, others who are not, or think it's wrong and claim freedom to do what they want, others who work there and have to navigate the difficult currents of aggro, hassle, anxiety and downright selfishness spilling over to rudeness.

I'm not happy. I want to have been able to do or say something that would enable better understanding, consideration, aye even kindness and solidarity at least as first steps to loving our neighbour as ourselves.

Comments

3 responses to “Social Distancing Increases Misunderstandings and Unhelpful Standoffs.”

  1. Angela Almond avatar

    It is incredibly difficult right now. I try and make a point of saying thank you to every staff member I encounter, telling them I appreciate their efforts to keep people safe. But with a mask on, it is hard for anyone to see a smile.
    And I feel desperately sorry for the two staff members in our local shop who are deaf. Their uniforms say, front and back “I cannot hear, I need to lip read!” – but how on earth do they do that right now?
    The other week, we took plants and biscuits to the dozen or so church members who were ‘shielding’ to show they were not forgotten. We ended up with one spare tin of shortbread – so we took it to the pharmacy as a thankyou for the staff. They have been brilliant, working round the clock to ensure people have their meds. Little acts of kindness…

  2. Angela Almond avatar

    It is incredibly difficult right now. I try and make a point of saying thank you to every staff member I encounter, telling them I appreciate their efforts to keep people safe. But with a mask on, it is hard for anyone to see a smile.
    And I feel desperately sorry for the two staff members in our local shop who are deaf. Their uniforms say, front and back “I cannot hear, I need to lip read!” – but how on earth do they do that right now?
    The other week, we took plants and biscuits to the dozen or so church members who were ‘shielding’ to show they were not forgotten. We ended up with one spare tin of shortbread – so we took it to the pharmacy as a thankyou for the staff. They have been brilliant, working round the clock to ensure people have their meds. Little acts of kindness…

  3. Angela Almond avatar

    It is incredibly difficult right now. I try and make a point of saying thank you to every staff member I encounter, telling them I appreciate their efforts to keep people safe. But with a mask on, it is hard for anyone to see a smile.
    And I feel desperately sorry for the two staff members in our local shop who are deaf. Their uniforms say, front and back “I cannot hear, I need to lip read!” – but how on earth do they do that right now?
    The other week, we took plants and biscuits to the dozen or so church members who were ‘shielding’ to show they were not forgotten. We ended up with one spare tin of shortbread – so we took it to the pharmacy as a thankyou for the staff. They have been brilliant, working round the clock to ensure people have their meds. Little acts of kindness…

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