Category: living wittily

  • Road Tax, Staff Training, Post offices and butterflies in China

    445886150_7028792d84_b_2 Needed money to pay for my road tax and got it at the autobank which is approached from one side by a ramp with steps at the other. At the bottom of the steps one of our senior worthies was leaning on her walking stick and scowling up at the bank doors:

    ‘Is that place no’ open yit son’ she asked me.

    I tried the automatic doors but no, they wouldn’t open. The notice said it opened at 9.45 on Wednesday’s following staff training. It was 9.30. I explained to my friend (anyone who calls me son at my age qualifies as an immediately co-opted friend), that the staff were training.

    Her reply, ‘Whit training dae they need tae open b***** doors.’

    Logo Went to the Post Office to get the road tax. After a longish wait in a longish queue, the teller said, ‘You could have got this at teller 11 or 12 without waiting. They’re dedicated to road tax’.

    Doesn’t matter I said. Anyway I was only there because I’d left it too late to do it online. At which point the teller told me the more people who do it online, the less come to the Post Offices. That affects the Post Office commission revenue and will eventually lead to further cuts in services, staff and Post Offices.

    Then went to my own bank, to find one of its employees standing at the door, locked out, because it was staff training and they were upstairs. It was 9.45 – bank would open at 10.00. Would I hang around for 15 minutes, or just leave it till another time. Blethered a wee while with Jackie (locked out staff member with name on jacket), decided not to wait.

    So on my way back up Paisley High Street, a place where deep pondering on the philosophical options of the good life tends not to happen too often, I thought about all this.

    Hmmmmmm. So staff training means the bank opens later, and customers have to wait. Now is the training to make them more efficient in dealing with the customers? Is it ok then to inconvenience customers, in order to train staff, to better provide a good service? And then the Post Office thing. If Post Offices are dependent on revenue from road tax, then clearly DVLA and/or Govt save that revenue if I do it online. Which means my convenience prejudices the convenience of all those who depend on a local Post Office and would be affected by cut services and closed Post Offices due to loss of revenue. It’s the butterfly that flutters in China that starts off the chain of events felt across the globe.

    Paisleycentral_2  So. I’ve decided. I’ll pay my road tax off line, by walking down the High Street, standing in the queue, and handing over the documentation. This will not be convenient, it will probably be raining, I will think of serial rationalisations for saying, oh Hang, just go with the online flow and let your mouse do the walking. But somewhere deep in the secret places of who I want to be, I’ll know that I’ve made a gesture of support for those whose lives can be made more inconvenient by every convenient click on the DVLA website, including mine. Luddite? Possibly. Quixotic? I hope so – there’s not enough of it. Futile – naw, just think of the nutterfly in China. (I know the third last word in that sentence is spelt wrong -hit the wrong key- but it seems like a word with a chance of being useful!)

    And as for staff training in banks, and consequent later opening for elderly customers wanting to lift this weeks pension, and having to stand in the rain, if there is a last word it should probably go to my pal met earlier, whose response required a series of asterisks to make her language suitable for a genteel blog like this.

  • ‘Tis a gift to be simple…….

     

    Logo Nothing in life is ever simple! Actually I don’t believe that – the laughter of friends is simple; the pancakes, maple syrup and pineapple I’ve just scoffed was a simple dessert; the needs of our cat, Gizmo are simple – food, cuddles, warmth, and the door opened to let him in/out/in/out ad nauseam; ordering yet another book from the US is far too simple – one click ordering is subversive of all budgets…if your clicking finger offends you, cut it off…..might just about be a contemporary warning; and yes, the Gospel is simple….eh, well, haud oan a meenit, Jim!

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    When I say the Gospel is simple I don’t mean doesn’t need any thought; I don’t mean come to Jesus and get all your problems solved, simple; I don’t mean following Jesus faithfully today is as simple as saying the sinner’s prayer; and I don’t mean the Gospel of God’s baffling, extravagant, welcoming, forgiving, transforming, heart breaking and heart-mending love can be reduced to a praise song, pure and simple.

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    But I do mean that reduced to the bare essentials God’s love is most clearly recognised in Jesus Christ; I do mean that no one needs a portfolio of achievements, a cluster of transferable skills, or any of the other image building paraphernalia that fills the usual impressive curriculum vitae, to get an interview with God; and yes, theological educator that I am, I do mean that to know the love of God in Christ that surpasses knowledge is the most important educational goal of our lives, and quite simply, the only qualification that ultimately matters. At which point the Gospel is no longer simply simple – it is simply incomprehensible.

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    Furniture The wonderfully eccentric people called the Shakers, who were also concentric when it comes to community and God, have a beautiful little song, ‘Tis a gift to be simple, ’tis a gift to be free….’ I’ll blog a couple of times in the next week about these remarkable people, who believed everything in life is simply gift. Their furniture is made with loving craft, simple design, and a view to the beauty of usefulness. It expresses the meaning of home, togetherness, the dance of life shared with God. The last communities are now dying out, but their commitment to simple life, community love and worship as the community choreographed in dance and co-ordinated in love, remains deeply, subversively and simply, prophetic. Every now and again I need to hear their quiet defiant advice, ‘Tis a gift to be simple, tis a gift to be free….’

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    A while ago I copied out some words from a Journal article – and I didn’t keep the reference for it – but now and again, reading it I’m reminded of how in my life ( and, I suspect, in yours) things take on an ‘inordinate complexity’.  Then to ‘flee to the Beloved, is to know ourselves loved, is to learn again the simple truth, the Gospel truth – God is love.

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    When in doubt and confusion,

    call in the scholars

    and they will fill your minds

    with such inordinate complexity

    that you flee to the Beloved

    and take refuge in Simplicity

    as the only solution. 

  • McJob and the Oxford English Dictionary

    So. Mcdonalds want to rewrite the English language by erasing the word McJob from that responsible guardian of verbal verities, the Oxford English Dictionary. Here’s the story from Lawdit, the intellectual property solicitors.

    Arch The

    UK

    arm of McDonald’s is planning a campaign to have the dictionary definition of a McJob changed. The Oxford English Dictionary says it is: "An unstimulating, low-paid job with few prospects, esp. one created by the expansion of the service sector."  Lorraine Homer from McDonald’s, however, said the firm felt the definition was "out of date and inaccurate".

    The fast food chain is planning a public petition to try to get the definition changed. The word McJob was first used in the

    US

    in the 1980s and was popularised by Douglas Coupland’s 1991 book Generation X. It first appeared in the online version of the Oxford English Dictionary in March 2001. McDonald’s tried to improve the image of its employment opportunities last year with the slogan: "McProspects – over half of our executive team started in our restaurants. Not bad for a McJob."

    Now I think it’s laudable (a couple of letter changes make the word laughable) that McDonald’s are now concerned about fairness, keen for everyone to use accurate descriptive terminology, and aspire to be supportive enablers of their employees’ prospects. And I do think if a company has genuinely turned around, and is now espousing and promoting fair trade, fair labour practices reflected in liveable wages as a global and not only locally expedient policy, and works credibly towards not only image change but to evidence a change of ethical substance, then that’s to be commended and rewarded.

    However – rather than remove the pejorative McJob, Mcdonalds could inspire new words like McFairpay, McFairtrade, McHealthy, McOrganic. If they carry on appealing to the courts, and using their commercial weight, they might generate the even less welcome neologism, McLitigation.

  • Courageous intervention

    I was once told by one of the congregation, after preaching on a particularly astringent passage from the Gospels where Jesus was berating the religious status quo, that I needed to preach like that more often. When I asked ‘Preach like what’?, I was told ‘Give us a hard kick up the backside’.

    I have to confess I was a bit surprised – I suppose it hadn’t fully registered that

    a) preaching might have had that kind of aim expressed in such unevangelical terminology

    b) there are those who expect to come to church and be the regular recipients of that kind of ‘team talk’!

    But at the same time I recognise the truth of Thomas Merton’s comment that the church suffers from ‘chronic niceness’, a capacity to be accommodating and non-confrontational, and that in so doing the church is being unfaithful, avoiding the pain and rejection of being both critic of the status quo and exemplar of another way.

    51x45jbq92l__aa240_ Which brings me to a passage from my A year with Dietrich Bonhoeffer daily readings book. Some of Bonhoeffer’s writing is an unmistakable example of ‘a hard kick up the backside’ for the Church. The words below were written at a time when the church’s silent acquiescence let evil go unchallenged.

    Bonhoeffer The church confesses itself guilty of violating all the Ten Commandments. It confesses thereby its apostasy from Christ. It has not so borne witness to the truth of God in a way that leads all inquiry and science to recognise its origin in this truth. It has not so proclaimed the righteousness of God that all human justice must see there its own source and essence. It has not been able to make the loving care of God so credible that all human economic activity would be guided by it in its task. By falling silent the church became guilty from the loss of responsible action in society, courageous intervention, and the readiness to suffer for what is acknowledged as right. It is guilty of the government’s falling away from Christ. (Bonhoeffer, Ethics, 140-1)

  • Speaking light out of darkness…

    Thumb In the beginning was the Word…..

    In the beginning God created the heavens and the earth,

    and the earth was without form, and void,

    and darkness was upon the face of the deep,…..

    and God said….Let there be light’.

    Speech, Holy Word,

    the articulation of divine intention and purpose,

    ‘Let there be…’

    Made in the image of God, we too speak,

    and what we say vibrates with possibility.

    Words call into existence,

    make possible,

    shape relationships,

    communicate meaning,

    become freighted with significance

    because once we speak, words are let loose.

    They cannot be recovered, unsaid,

    and their healing or hurt may have a long afterlife.

    Made in the image of God,

    we are wise if we listen not only to what God says,

    but to how God speaks;

    and wiser still if we pay attention to why God speaks.

    When James tackles the fundamental spiritual disciplines he says little of contemplation, mystical joy rides, charismatic gifts – he speaks of wisdom, words, and therefore wise speaking and even wiser listening. James 3.1-12

    Prayer

    Lord we all make many mistakes in our conversation.

    The way we choose words and construct sentences,

    which temper and tamper with truth

    The tone of voice, the pace of diction, the volume of our speaking,

    communicating impatience and self-importance.

    Lord forgive us when we use words as weapons to hurt others,

    or as shields to hide behind when we are criticised:

    Lord forgive us, when our words are arrogant and self serving,

    when we would rather speak than listen

    and rather be seen and heard than seen and serving

    Lord, whose words called worlds into being,

    Make our words creative and life-giving;

    Lord whose words wrestled order out of chaos,

    and still speak light out of darkness

    Put words in our mouth that call chaos to account;

    That challenge injustice and defend the vulnerable,

    So may we speak light out of darkness,

    Through Jesus Christ, the Word, and Light of the world, Amen

  • What can you say? Can’t argue with providence.

    1576871487_01_pt01__ss400_sclzzzzzz When it comes to performance and feedback, the Amazon Marketplace customer is in a powerful position. You can seriously dent a seller’s credibility with withering feedback. So there’s an unwritten code of ethics that means you don’t rubbish someone else’s business unfairly. Now and again the human dimension of this shines through all the seller’s anxieties about having a good percentage rating. I got the following email from Mary (that’s all I know of her).

    Dear Dr Gordon, Due to circumstances entirely beyond my control, I regret that this book is no longer in my possession.(Another Reverend has given it, unknown to me, to an elderly sick friend!)I am very sorry indeed to inconvenience you. Mary.

    An email like that leaves me genuinely pleased I’d been disappointed. When I think the book I want has just come into my grasp, God sometimes has other ideas and somebody else needs it more than me!  This is God’s take on socialism, a more equitable distribution of resources, delivered at the point of need! Lesson learned.

    What else could you leave on the feedback than excellent! The charm and gift of this email is that it allowed me to pray for folk I don’t know – Mary, bless her for her up front honesty and courtesy, the ‘other Reverend’ for his kindness, and the elderly sick friend that they’ll be blessed by the book God ensured went to the one who needed it most. Who says the internet  is an impersonal electronic web, huh? Or that a cyber-community is an artificially created alternative to real people – clearly not always.

    One of my 1980’s culturally sad confessions is that I watched the A Team when our kids were growing up. Never want to see it again – but the cheesy end-line lives on in the memory, and occasionally describes an important theological truth and spiritual response. The theological truth is Providence – the spiritual response is gratitude. And the cheesy line was, ‘I love it when a plan comes together’. And Mary whoever you are, in that diverted book, Someone else’s plan came together – I love it when that happens.

    By the way the book I didn’t get was The Spirit of Early Christian Thought – I’d rather live in the Spirit than read about it anyway.

  • Urban Warriors

    Cimg0443500x375_2  Sitting at Cardonald pedestrian traffic lights two pigeons flew over the car and landed on the road island, standing on the road studs for visually impaired folk. Green man comes on, bleeper bleeps, and they start strutting across the road,the arrogant saunter of ornithological neds, just making it before the lights flashed and the traffic started moving. Last I saw them they were plundering the remains of someone’s discarded takeaway.

    Rock_pigeon_dove_thumbnail Pigeon’s – not the Mary Poppins, ‘Feed the Birds Twopence a Bag’ kind; and not the biblical or liturgical dove of peace either; but the hardened urban warriors who work part time as the auxilliary co-opted members of local authority cleansing operatives. And as evolutionary survival tactics, they do us the service of eating our throwaway rubbish and set an example by waiting for the green man before crossing.

  • Composing, conducting and performing a human life…

    Rost2_161619a_2 The Russian cellist, composer and conductor Mstislav Rostropovich has died age 80. One of the finest cellists of the 20th Century, his playing so accomplished and passionate that major composers were prepared to compose pieces designed for his playing. In his own view, of all that he wrote and composed, the most important was the letter he sent to Pravda in support of Alexander Solhzehnitsyn in 1970. He campaigned on behalf of Andrei Sacharov, and publicly criticised the authorities of the old Soviet regime. He was persecuted and banished for that – but this noble, humane, composer, cellist and conductor embodied the spirit of freedom and resistance to totalitarianism and the abuse of state sponsored power. In 1991 he even joined Boris Yeltsin in facing down the Communist pusch and defending the pro-democracy movement as the old regime crumbled.

    For me there is an almost metaphysical connection between the gifts of composition, conducting and performing music, and the gifts of composing, conducting and performing a beautiful and humanising life. As one young Russian said, ‘may his soul rest in peace and glory.’

  • Learned Optimism

    Optimism isn’t the same as hoping for the best but not sure if it will happen. It isn’t a kind of philosophical crossing of the fingers behind our backs either. That kind of uncritical optimism mean we’re simply not being realistic. The relationship between optimism and realism is very interesting for people who take Jesus seriously enough to trust Him. For people of faith, is their trust in Jesus optimism or realism?

    An important insight comes from an unusual book entitled Learned Optimism. It sounds complicated, but stay with me:

    Apx1975_01 One of the creative techniques in John’s gospel is that the writer sets you up, to hit you with truth. His gospel is about learned optimism. Repeatedly he argues, if you believe in Jesus you can combine being realistic with feeling optimistic, because He will create ways to improve the realistic situation as we understands it.

    For John the gospel writer, optimism is not only a matter of temperament. It is a worldview, a considered view of how the world is. In John’s Gospel, to believe in Jesus is to develop a radically different worldview.  Jesus, says John, is God’s radical intervention who redefines all other reality.

    “In the beginning was the Word, and the Word became flesh…..in Him was life and the life was the light of all humanity…the Son came that you might have life….if the Son shall set you free you shall be free indeed”. Reality is reconfigured, the way the world looks changes forever, when Jesus’ presence, purpose and power are presupposed.

    So, John says – Jesus is the life-giver, the light bringer, the liberator. For example in chapter 11, Jesus’ friend Lazarus is dead, buried, locked in the grave, decomposing in the darkness, confined by embalming bandages; that, says John, is the reality. And John says to us his readers, "faith is learned optimism, faith is feeling optimistic about God improving reality – your considered view of how the world is, is about to be reconfigured".

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    John says, ‘Watch Jesus and learn’.

    ‘Take away the stone’, says the Life-giver

    ‘Lazarus come out’, says the Light bringer

    ‘unbind the grave clothes’ says the Liberator. 

    And Lazarus walked out, into the light, back into life  and out into the freedom Jesus both commanded and gifted.

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    “Learned optimism” – it’s the worldview of those who have seen Jesus at work, and who believe that he still works; that the light shines in the darkness of every death -confirming, life-threatening grave. But says John, the darkness can never get the better of him. And that says John, is the learned optimism of resurrection faith.

    Water_lilies I am the Resurrection and the Life. Whoever believes in me will live, even though they die; and whoever lives and believes in me will never die.

    “I have always prided myself on being realistic, and still value that quality. What I learned is that being realistic should be combined with feeling optimistic about creating ways to improve the realistic situation as I understand it.”

  • When old age is a celebration of life!

    This story ( and the photo) are about the importance of purposeful work for human beings. For the full story see BBC news here

    _42815935_dorsetgardener_203 A 104-year-old gardener is to retire after working on the land for 93 years.

    But Jim Webber, of Stoke Abbott, Dorset, is to continue managing his own plot, growing vegetables for his own table and to sell any surplus to supplement his pension.The widower said that arthritis in his knees had made it difficult for him to work for other people.

    He told the BBC: "I would do about 10 minutes and have to sit down, I couldn’t carry on. That wasn’t fair for the people I was working for."

    The story reminds me of one of my favourite one line prayers. It was written as Vera Brittain’s epitaph:

    "Lord give me work till my life is done, and life till my work is done."

    And the 80 year old John Wesley, ‘Lord, let me not live to be useless.’ Now was that Wesley the Arminian, praying a prayer to be kept faithful and persevere in the  Calvinistic work ethic?