Category: living wittily

I like this. One of those clever wordplays I wish I'd thought of myself.

Image ‘YIP Day 70 – More Few’ by Auntie P from Flickr, used under Creative Commons.

Been up the North East for the weekend. I was conducting a wedding on Sunday afternoon but we spent Saturday afternoon revisiting familiar places along Deeside and Donside. The countryside has been bruised and flattened by the long freeze and deep snow, but it still lifted the heart to look at dark green forest, mountains on the skyline, and on Saturday the kind of blue sky with a late winter sun which touches that deep place where longing waits to break and heal the heart. There's a beauty in the slow movement of winter to spring that combines elegy with hope, that reminds us how sensitive we are to being old, or young, and how much it matters that we have those days when horizons matter, because they compel vision outwards.

And during our weekend meanderings we saw an osprey carrying a large trout out of the Banchory trout fishing loch (the photo is from here); there were long skeins of geese honking their way north, chevrons of fellow travellers staying in position to make the journey easier for themselves and their neighbours; driving home on Sunday night a stoat still wearing its ermine coat decided to play chicken on the Aucterarder bypass – it lived to boast about it.

The wedding was – well what else? A Valentine Day wedding, two young people telling all the important people in their lives about their commitment to each other for the rest of their lives. They too had been touched in that deep place where longing waits to break and heal the heart. Sharing the day with a family I first met 26 years ago – to the day as it turns out. And the groom was the first of many child and family dedications I conducted in the ministry that started in Aberdeen in 1984. Much has happened since in their lives and mine, and the coming together in prayer, promise and praise was just one more of these miracles of pastoral friendship that make being a pastor more profitable than a banker's bonus! Would I exchange such days for a six figure sum? The question is ludicrous because the answer to me is obvious. Lest there be any  doubt. No.

Big excitement and big scary. There are times when life changes because circumstances do; and there are times when we change the circumstances on which our lives are built. We moved to Paisley in 2002, sensing the call of God as I took up the appointment as Principal of our College. It has always been our intention to retire to Aberdeen, and we knew we would review our life situation once Sheila retired which she did in August 2008.

The main question was whether we might return to pastoral ministry or I would continue in my current vocational place in the College. For all kinds of reasons it still feels right to stay with the College through the next phases of transition and development. A letter has gone out to all our churches explaining all this as best any of us can explain the movements of God in our lives, and the impact of that on life itself. One thing being a pastor for most of my working life has taught me, is that God's will is nothing like as clearly discerned as many a piece of advice offered with uncomplicated confidence might suggest. That nearly always means that decisions aren't straightforward either.

Several months ago, after careful consultations with others, and "not a little  prayer", we decided the time had come to move back and make our home in Aberdeen. Sheila will be able to reconnect with important networks of friends, professional colleagues, and be part of the place to which we will eventually retire.

I will be in College most of the working week, but also working from home in relation to College administration, representation and academic research. I have accommodation (hospitality) near the College and will do what a lot of people are now able to do – work from more than one base, and make the diversity an advantage. We are fully aware of the implications, (as far as foresight and responsible forward planning can make us), and possible challenges, though obviously they have to be lived through in order to work them out finally and fruitfully.

The immediate result is that we have recently confirmed the sale of our house in Ralston and have now bought a new home in Westhill, a few miles west of Aberdeen. We will be relocated before Easter. Readers of this blog will be aware that my own view of life is informed by a deep sense of the serious fun and responsive risk-taking that is a life offered daily in the service of God and in faithful following after Christ, urged on and attracted forward by the Spirit who is the antidote for staleness, stagnation and stuckness! So. Big excitement and big scary. Not sure if I should say Lord have mercy or thanks be to God! Probaly a liturgical rhythm of both over the next few weeks and months would ensure that the benefits and frustrations are appropriately acknowledged!

In Morrison's Saturday morning for the usual top-up of what we forgot to buy.

Other customers at the checkouts seemd to have articulated trolleys carrying a month's supplies for a family of ten.

Waited patiently while the couple in front loaded the checkout with food piled like a mountain range, then loaded their bags, paid and departed with enough supplies to survive a sizeable biblical siege.

During this time the young assistant chatted cheerfully about her job, commented on various food items which she liked or didn't.

Our turn comes and we only have enough to fill two carrier bags – so our checkout chatter engaged us in enjoyable comment about our pineapple, the creme caramele, the chilli cream crackers.

Aged 19 she recently tried to prepare a fresh pineapple for the first time, but was left with butchered pulp, but she thought the creme carameles looked nice enough to eat, and the chilli crackers she confessed were one of her habits.

Enter behind us customer with protruding bottom lip – not a natural physiological phenomenon but a highly visible signal of disapproval that she was being delayed by a lassie's friendliness.

Instead of protruding my tongue, or using my lips to form words like 'Smile God loves you', I decided to do it for her, and smiled disarmingly as those who know me know I can.

Didnae work – and our loquacious friendly, light-hearted checkout assistant continued her running commentary on our dietary tastes (garlic this time) oblivious of looming clouds of customer checkout rage.

Behind her the protruding lip was dangerously reaching maximum disapproval extension, reinforced now by lowering eyebrows and folded arms.

At which point I put my plastic into the PIN pad and commented in my most winsome tones to our stressed out customer, so allergic to conversation, laughter, friendliness and fun, "Isn't it nice to have somebody who talks to the customers?"

Didnae work – she obviously didn't know who I was, and didn't want to.

Left me with a new understanding of the phrase "customer service".

I think those who serve customers should be served their fair share of courtesy, appreciation, understanding, friendliness, and downright respect.

Know which one I'd rather meet at a party – or a football match – or a supermarket for that matter.

Wish the Morrison's training staff had witnessed this.

Maybe she isn't good at preparing a fresh pineapple – but she is very good at what she does at the checkout – and we said so – loudly. 

……………………….

With this post Living Wittily passes the milestone of 1000 posts. In celebration, consolation or consternation, tomorrow I will repost the raison d'etre of this blog. A gentle reminder to me and those who visit, why I think all those words have some value beyond the pleasure of writing them. 

It's one of those very occasional coincidences about which I am unreasonably and quietly smug. Several months after I did a paper on Carol Ann Duffy's poetry at a Theology Colloquium, a year or two ago, I touted her for poet laureate, – and there you go – she's nominated and appointed. I've enjoyed her poetry for years. The poem below is a favourite, one of those playful imaginings that takes a serious view of human risk-taking and fulfilment. In it we are participant, spectator and narrator – and we do understand that frisson of danger, the vicarious wishing it was us up there but glad it isn't, which is why we are the first to applaud his success.

Listening the other day to the CEO of the Health and Safety Executive, fighting back against the urban and rural myths about alleged Health and Safety regulations zealously applied to all things fun. She said something that I want to think about in relation to Christian discipleship. She said those responsible for risk-assessment had contracted risk aversion. her point was that a risk assessment was never meant to be a reason to prohibit an activity just because there was any perceived risk. Risk aversion is when decisions are made out of fear, when no matter what the activity someone wants to put the safety catch on, when excitement, thrill and uncertainty are so comprehensively extracted from life that all you are left with is bland, safe and a diminishment of the spirit.

So here's Carol Ann, exploring the ambiguous relationship we all have with risk and danger, and that inexplicable urge we shouldn't always repress, to step out on the tightrope, or as Jesus might have said, " to launch into the deep"

Talent

This is the word tightrope. Now imagine

a man, inching across it in the space

between our thoughts. He holds our breath.

There is no word net.

You want him  to fall, don't you?

I guessed as much; he teeters but succeeds.

The word applause is written all over him.

Carol Ann Duffy, Selected Poems (Penguin: 1999), Page 17

I don't play golf anymore. In truth, I never really played golf all that well. But years ago, for about three years, I played often, and with enthusiasm, and to pastoral purpose. It was in response to one of the most difficult pastoral situations I ever encountered. Offering to play golf with someone who became my friend, was a way of relieving the pressure and distress he and his family were going through living with a daughter dangerously ill with a long term eating disorder.

So we played golf – every week – regardless of weather. I'd never played before. My clubs came from a charity shop – I later sold them to an antique dealer! We played the municipal course for three years. All this came back to me yesterday in the frozen fog with visibility down to 50 metres or less. We were walking past Barshaw Golf Course. In the 1980's I played some of my most adventurous golf there – in freezing fog. We played with luminous yellow or orange golf balls. Nobody else was daft enough to play in fog so we had the course to ourselves. The Course Supervisor never charged us on such days, I suppose that was his way of helping the afflicted.

Life eventually worked out better for my golfing fellow sufferer. His daughter recovered. I had accompanied her and her family through several years of anguish and fear, and eventually conducted her wedding, sharing with my golf partner in crime, one of the best days in my pastoral life.

All this came back yesterday as we walked past Barshaw Golf Course, shrouded in fog. My flirting with a career in golf never had the chance to grow into a serious relationship. But it did make me start watching golf on TV. Which brings me to the reason for this post. Last night I watched the BBC Sports Personality of the Year Awards. As a Scot, year on year I wonder at some of the awards – coach of the year Fabio Capello? Eh? Well anyway.

For myself, the high point of the programme was all about golf, and human greatness. The award to Seve Ballesteros provided one of those rare but unforgettable moments of TV at its humanising best. Around the time I was hacking my way round Barshaw Park, 25 years ago, Severiano Ballesteros burst onto the world stage as the most charismatic and gifted golfer for a generation. He went on to win 5 majors, over 70 titles, captained the Ryder Cup to victory – and in the past year or two has confronted life-threatening illness with enormous courage and dignity. Watching him last night, speaking with humour and humanity, accompanied by his friend Jose Maria Olazabal, it was obvious to me that we were looking at a great man. A lifetime achievement award was so completely right. Decency, passion, vision, the gift of joy and of giving enjoyment, skill and that indefinable magic that makes a great player also a great human being – qualities professional sport needs today more than ever. Seve described his struggle with illness as the greatest fight of his life, his sixth major. On and off the course, his example has enriched so many – I wish him well, and am glad to have watched him play the game, of life as well as golf, as it should be played.

Recent reasons for smile and laughter

"Spooks" is back, plausible enough to be scary, implausible enough to enjoy.

A meal with two friends who are amongst the best conversationalists around

One of said friends recalled the job-interview question we all get asked – "Hobbies"

His description of the face of the high flying kingpin who asked, when he replied, "Tunisian Croquet and Gaelic singing".

A gift of another Poetry CD which will instill serenity, lift imagination and humanise thought during urban driving.

The face of a student at that precise moment when an important penny dropped with a life changing ping

The migrant redwings raiding the local rowan tree supermarkets as they stock up for Christmas and the long journey back to Scandinavia later

A Thornton's chocolate covered bar of marzipan delivered at the exact moment of need – though with me, when it's marzipan, each moment is exactly right

A friend who bought a new (not  cheap) umbrella in M&S on the windiest wettest day of the year, and described its brief life and messy death on Argyll Street less than a minute later.

The many hundredth affectionate dunt on the head from our 17 year old cat who uses the Glasgow kiss to focus the owner's attention on the absolute priority of the feline need for affection

A new book delivered – Oh come on! That had to be in any list of recent smile inducing events in my life!