Category: Stuff and nonsense

Went into the Next Department Store in Aberdeen.

It is an amazing maze of clothes rails.

Many of them deeper in the shop are above my head height – my eye level is around 5 foot.

Yes it is, you doubters. My height is 5'3"max

What we wanted to buy was at the back of the store by a meandering path, through Narnia type rails of clothes.

I got separated from Sheila and decided to make my way to the door and wait for her to emerge.

Manda Quick, next time you're looking for a Prayer Labyrinth try the Next shop in the Bon Accord Centre.

I wandered lonely as a cloud and found myself amongst kettles, lingerie and stands of what Nanci Griffiths in her song about Woolworths would call 'unnecessary plastic objects.

No phone signal so no point trying to phone Sheila to tell her I might be gone for some time,

No need to panic Jim. You came in, you'll get out.

A small elderly woman examining house coats and slippers, and clearly gifted in the empathy department, noticing my confused bemused unamused search for an exit said, "Aye, you need a periscope in here."

Sure do!

Racks of clothes, piped music, ceilings glaring from wall to wall with shadowless lights, crowds of self-absorbed strangers on their mission to consume:

The opening lines of Dante's Purgatory suddenly find a context in my life!

Midway on our life’s journey, I found myself
In dark woods, the right road lost.

Tomorrow I preach on hope, using the text "The people who walk in darkness, have seen a great light."

Not a bad piece of sermon preparation, lost in a shop! Unable to see which direction to go!! No, not dark woods, over-illumined shops. So many lights that look the same so that instead of clarifying they confuse with their featureless anonymity, their brilliant sameness, their shadowless display.

Yes. Don't be daft. Of course I got home. Close thing though……………….    

Went walking to the fish van along at Elrick; it comes from up the coast every Thursday.

Passed the old cottages which rejoice in the name Earlick Cottages – how did they ever come to be called that – an address that says Earlick Cottages, Elrick?

Elderly gentleman in a bunnet wobbles on to the pavement on an ancient bike, I step aside with exaggerated courtesy to let him pass – just as well, he didn't see me!

Bought three seriously fine haddock, and discussed the weather and a certain last minute Motherwell goal with the fish wifey.

Then I'm stalked by an angry blackbird who clearly thinks I've no right to be on his turf – quite right too. I guess there's a nest with the weans somewhere.

Then coming towards me a woman walking her dog. It's on one of those extension leads, you know, the kind that just as you get near, the dog decides to run across your path so you either have to jump or, the dog's preferred option, you fall on your face.

I did neither. It was a daft young spaniel which decided it liked me. Not surprised, I'm a cat owning dog lover.

Lying on the road a small spanner, drop forged, size 600 mill and 700 mill. Handy wee thing if I ever need it!

The photo is taken a mile further along the road from where I walked this morning – not bad for the back door.

I love this news item from the BBC website:

Councillors in Orkney are demanding an investigation after being left with thousands of extra wheelie bins worth more than £180,000 for a new waste disposal scheme.

The bins have been issued to more than 9,000 households over the past two years.

Orkney Islands Council has been left with 9,500 spares, worth £188,000.

The authority is looking at possible uses for the bins but admitted it was not an ideal situation.

A spokesman said that "in hindsight some of the planning assumptions that had underpinned the project had resulted in some unforeseen outcomes".

………..

Why didn't the spokesman say "Sorry, we made a mistake".

Imagine a child who spilt the Ribena on the carpet saying, " in hindsight some of the planning assumptions that had underpinned the project resulted in some unforeseen outcomes",

Or

a speeding motorist saying to the police, "in hindsight some of the planning assumptions that had underpinned the project resulted in some unforeseen outcomes."

However the Orkney Council is considering alternative uses for the 9,500 wheelie bins. Suggestions please?

God's aesthetic sense, maternal love, and the Creator's sense of humour in one picture – I love this:))

Come on in, the water's lovely: A four-week -old Malayan tapir calf takes a swim with mum Gertie at London Zoo.

This and other pictures over here

The predictive text on my ancient Nokia (the one on the left above) which was produced shortly after cuneiform became obsolete. I once discovered only after sending that when I type 'meal' its first choice is 'neck'. If you don't check before sending that can be embarrassing.This Christmas I had to send a number of texts which informed, invited, described or intimated a meal.

I am taking the staff out for a well earned meal.

We had a long lesiurely meal at Cardosi's.

Last night was the annual fellowship meal.

For once we had a meal together without arguing.

Are you free to come over for a pot luck meal with the rest of the house group.

We had a hot meal, which was just what we needed.

Need I go on. Just substitute neck for meal in any of the above.

Always check the predictive spelling then. Does your phone do stuff like that?

Captions Please in the Comments – and I'll add them to either the ducks or the Smudge photos. By the way, we don't like the curtains so once Smudge progresses through adolescence we'll replace them!

I want one of these :))

Called a Jubilee Cake.

Has one of my five daily portions per slice.

So five slices would be healthy.

What's wrong with that logic.

Not much.

Once every 60 years!

Recipe on link below.

http://www.parentdish.co.uk/2012/05/14/jubilee-cake-recipe-easy/?ncid=wsc-uk-parentdish-headline