Category: Uncategorised

  • Consider the Birds… a Plea for Ornitheology.

    DSC07259I think it was John Stott, preacher, Bible expositor and world Evangelical leader who first taught me the word 'ornitheology'. Amongst Stott's interests beyond Bible teaching and writing was his lifelong fascination with birds. He was a twitcher, and a very knowledgeable ornithologist. He often used the habits and lore about birds as illustrations of spiritual life.

    My own interest in birds goes back to my childhood on the farms in Ayrshire and Lanarkshire. I grew up surrounded by fields, woods, rivers, burns, small lochs, endless hedges, farm buildings and always one or two meadows or fallow fields. It was a bird habitat paradise. Without a pause I can rhyme off lists of the birds we heard, saw, and took an interest in. Field birds included lapwing, curlew, snipe, skylark, partridge, pheasant; around the farm pied wagtail, house sparrow, starling, swallow, house martin, jackdaw, wren, robin, jackdaw, wood pigeon; along the hedges and grass verges yellow hammer, chaffinch, hedge sparrow, mavis, blackbird, greenfinch, linnet, goldfinch; down at the lochs there were coot, waterhen, heron, mallard, geese; along the burns and in the woods, dippers, sand martins, mistle thrush, yellow wagtail, kestrel, cuckoo, blue tit, great tit, long tailed tit; and in the meadows blackcap, coal tit, meadow pipit, and several of the above where there were bushes, gorse or other promising nest sites. 

    It is one of the great blessings in my life that I lived at a time of ornithological abundance, before so much industrialised agriculture laid waste the habitats and reduced the food sources of all those feathered beauties that populated my days. I remain passionate about birds; their beauty, their fascinating variety, their habits and habitats, and the hard to explain sense of companionship I feel when I hear bird calls and song, and see birds in flight and going about their lives. 

    So ornitheology is also one of my subsidiary interests. The geese migrating and heading unerringly where they need to go; murmurations of starlings demonstrating ballet in flight; skylarks soaring and singing as if life depends on it, and maybe sometimes it does; the patience and stillness of the heron; lapwings showing off moves that are amongst the best displays of aerobatic mastery; the partridge chicks clustering together around a mother trying to run an impossible creche; and the kestrel, hovering with deceptive laziness moving only the wingtips tilted in breeze. All of these have been the subject of various poets, not least because of their achievements as creatures who learned to live and survive and flourish, until human activity began to threaten their future.

    DSC07249Jesus said consider the birds. At the risk of anachronism, those urgent words of Jesus come whispering down the centuries to a world increasingly hostile to the non human species who share this planet with us. And whatever else the doctrine of Creation addresses, it raises questions of human responsibility as stewards and curators of a fragile planet. A strong Christian doctrine of creation cannot co-exist in the same mind as an attitude of careless, ruthless exploitation of world resources for economic power. That would require a moral contradiction and a genuine distortion of a biblical theology of creation. 

    The near idyllic account of taken for granted diversity and pervasive presence of birds in my childhood only sounds near idyllic because the plight of bird life has become so critical. The catastrophic fall in numbers, and the large increase in the number of endangered species populating lists of birds at risk on our islands means it is very unlikely future generations of children will ever experience what I took for granted as the way the world is. Ornithology therefore becomes ornitheology. Birds, with their relatively recent security, and now their fragile hold on survival putting them at risk of extinction, are reminders that this world is not a supermarket for humans to raid and plunder.

    Call it what we will; green theology, ecology, environmental ethics. But one way or another the bird population, its diversity and health levels, are pretty accurate measurements of the overall impact of human economic activity. And unless we consider the birds, we may well find that once they, and the bees, and the ice, and the forests are pushed to the cliff edge, our human future likewise will be put at risk. That would be ornitheology. I for one cannot subscribe to the irresponsible shoulder shrugging of those whose beliefs bring them to say, "God is in control; it's not down to us." Stewardship is freighted with responsibility, and accountability. We have been entrusted with much, and of us, much will be required.
         

     

  • Rainbows and Puddles.

    IMG_2358On a wet, freezing Tuesday night, with wind gusting around 50 mph we made our way to the rehearsals for the Skene Singing Group.

    The church hall window, illuminated from behind, beamed with rainbow promise.

    And the rainbow surrounded a cruciform window, the coincidence of light and darkness.

    Sometimes, when you least expect it, and perhaps don't know you need it, light shines.

    Walking through a darkened car park, with puddles reflecting rainbow lights,

    ambushed by grace and gently lifted towards hope.

    "The light shineth in the darkness,

    and the darkness comprehendeth it not." 

     

     

  • When Wild Geese Force You to Look at the World Less Unseeingly

    IMG_2360Living in the North East of Scotland the sight and sound of migrating geese is a regular experience of nature at its most beautiful, haunting and heart lifting. A mile or two beyond where I live is Loch Skene, one of the most important staging posts for migration and a place where thousands of geese winter before heading North again.

    What is it, though, about the sight and sound of those voyagers from the North that unfailingly lifts the affections towards hopefulness and renewal of spirits? Flying in formation, honking their perseverance, hundreds of ink marks flowing on a blue sky, at times strung together in chevrons drawn with a care for geometry, they proclaim both freedom and discipline.

    A flock of geese takes off in an apparent chaos, and almost immediately, without a conductor,  orchestrate their movements into the most economical dynamics for birds their size and weight. Survival is by cooperation; shared workload prevents exhaustion; and somewhere inside those aerodynamic heads, a compass more accurate than most human technologies. Geese in migration intimate a change of season, they announce that life doesn't stay the same, they demonstrate that travel and the journey are as important in life as routine and a stability that can easily become stuckness. 

    IMG_2361 Late on this February afternoon, while engaged in the routines of making life work, a thousand geese passed overhead, give or take a few. I'd spent much of the day in a reflective and lowered mood, for various reasons. Part of it the continuing work of grieving and rebuilding in a time of loss.

     Sometimes stuckness isn't what you seek, it's what happens, routines are safe, change requires energy, imagination and the strength to take off and fly. Then this happens to pull you out of your own head; a thousand geese haul you out of your own head, lift up your heart, and force you to look at the world less unseeingly. Or to put it more positively, those aviators from elsewhere, now heading somewhere else, have seduced you into seeing the world again in its rawness, its beauty, its unending possibilities, and it sheer magnificence as a place to be alive.

    Being a Christian is itself a way of seeing the world, a worldview. And amongst the more stringent demands of trying to live the life of faith is to hold on to the view that this world is God-loved, because God-created. We will all have our moments of revelation, epiphany, those gifts in time when we become aware of our belonging on earth, and of our longing for more than we can say. Those overhead and overheard geese, honking their encouragement to each other, compel us to look beyond where we are, creating that strange feeling of contentment that is hard to distinguish from a form of discontent that urges us outward, upward, forward.

    Contentment cannot be permanent; there comes a time to move, change, and trust to the power of the One who calls us to newness, and out of the routine, the familiar, the comfortable and if we are honest, the stuckness of life that has settled for what it already has. I think the birth of such trust is called hope, and it is one of the gifts of the Holy Spirit. Standing in a car park, looking at the sky, watching geese on the move, hearing their wild cries, somewhere inside bolts click back and doors open, curtains are pulled back and light spills inward, and God has spoken through the ancient migratory patterns of creatures who know their way home.     

     

     

     

  • “Distrust every claim for truth where you do not see truth united with love…”

    IMG_2354Now here's the kind of thinking we could do with more of. This is Paul Tillich preaching in a University Chapel on the text "What is Truth?" He finishes with these words:

    "Distrust every claim for truth where you do not see truth united with love; and be certain that you are of the truth and that the truth has taken hold of you only when love has taken hold of you and has started to make you free from yourselves."

    Imagine being told that as you come to the end of a worship service. That you can get a handle on who you are and what your life is about if you take seriously the connection between truth and love. How does that work? Well here's Tillich earlier in the same sermon:

    "If you seriously ask the question, 'Am I of the truth?', you are of the truth. If you do not ask it seriously, you do not really want, and you do not deserve, and you cannot get, an answer! He who asks  seriously the question of the truth that liberates is already on the way to liberation."

    Of course Tillich is talking about more than factual truth, establishing what is verifiable by investigation. He certainly includes that. But he is after the deeper levels and originating sources of truthfulness that we might call integrity of character, authenticity in behaviour, consistency in values and ethical choices, an absence of cynicism, an aversion to lies whether spoken, implied or by self-deceit. All of these grow out of the deep subsoil of the soul, the accumulation over time of mistakes and missteps, of good decisions and unselfish choices, those moments of self-discovery, self-awareness and self-correction which are the often hidden work of the Holy Spirit in the conscience and at the well-springs of motive and self-knowing.

    Tillich in this sermon exposes our capacity for self-deceit, and our innate tendency to give a body swerve to whatever challenges our distorted notions of who we are, our perfections, importance and carefully constructed self-image. That's why he is careful to distinguish between our desire to grasp the truth, and our willingness to be grasped by the truth. Those who wish to control truth, to be the final arbiter of what is true, right, real for me, are unlikely to listen when even the truth addresses them, contradicts them, and judges them.

    GrunewaldEven Pilate, who uttered that question, "What is truth?", and looked into the face of the truth of all things, knew somewhere deep down in a conscience hardened by military law and arbitrary power, that he could not master the truth. He could flog it half to death, he could crucify it and bury it. But truth will out. And the resurrection of Jesus became the truth that judges all other truth claims. Love, not hate, is true; life, not death, is true; hope, not despair, is true; light, not darkness shines with truth; reconciliation, not enmity, is built on truth. Pilate asked, "What is truth?" Angels answered him three days later, "He is risen."

    The ending of Tillich's sermon is about that risen life and its transformative power: "be certain that you are of the truth and that the truth has taken hold of you only when love has taken hold of you and has started to make you free from yourselves." The words echo much of the teaching in the First Epistle of John; but they are themselves paraphrased, albeit unwittingly, by the last verse of Stuart Townend's excellent Easter praise song:

    One with the Father, Ancient of Days,
    Through the Spirit who clothes faith with certainty.
    Honour and blessing, glory and praise
    To the King crowned with pow'r and authority!
    And we are raised with Him,
    Death is dead, love has won, Christ has conquered;
    And we shall reign with Him,
    For He lives: Christ is risen from the dead!

    This kind of truth is not a truth we grasp, but one that grasps us. The "Spirit clothes faith with certainty", but it isn't the empty certitudes of those who think they can win all the arguments, and impose their version of truth. It is the assurance of those who know that truth unites with love, and both unite with life, and these are found in Jesus Christ, incarnate, crucified and risen.

    Using Tillich's italicised emphasis, truth is found by those who seriously seek truth, those who are open to truth, not as a power to impose on others, but as a way of being which is expressed in the love of God and lived out in loving action for Christ's sake. When love and truth take hold of us, only then can we answer what is truth, and discover as Jesus said all along, "You shall know the truth, and the truth shall set you free." John 8.32   

  • Prayer of Intercession Following Brexit.

    Prayer of Intercession Following Brexit.

    (The refrain of Seek ye first the Kingdom of God can be used as response as indicated)

    DSC04989Our Father, your kingdom come, your will be done on earth, as it is in heaven. You have called us to seek first the Kingdom of God and your righteousness. We pray for our country, this place where we live, and where so much that is important in our shared life will now change in ways we cannot predict. 

    Brexit has made many stressed and angry, afraid and divided. We have strong opinions and not enough understanding; we take sides, point fingers of blame, refuse to listen to others and shout louder ourselves.

    We pray for our Parliament, and all those we have elected and appointed to represent the interests of our country and our people. Father that is one of our greatest fears – we are starting to choose who are our people. We use words like LEAVE and REMAIN as slogans and insults. We have each used used phrases like ‘enemies of the people’, ‘no surrender’, ‘disaster capitalism’ ‘do or die’ as if we are at war with ourselves.

    We pray that you will give wisdom and humility to those who have power; undermine the pride and arrogance that often closes off good ways forward; enable those who speak for us to do so with truth and integrity, and to refuse acceptance of lies as if the truth doesn’t matter.

    God of the nations, our country must now make far reaching decisions. Guide and direct us into the paths of peace; stem the flow of invective and hostility; bring minds together to find understanding and a way ahead that enables justice, the common good, and care for each other. Our continent has known terrible wars, and these past 75 years we have lived peaceably and constructively. Whatever the outcomes of these next weeks, may we find ways of living in friendship as partners rather than as competitors and rivals.

    *SEEK YE FIRST THE KINGDOM OF GOD

    Father, in times of crisis and anxiety your prophets spoke words of comfort and truth. May we hear and obey their words, and make those words our prayers in these next weeks:

    Let justice roll down like waters, and righteousness like an ever rolling stream.

     But seek the welfare of the city where I have sent you into exile, and pray to the Lord on its behalf, for in its welfare you will find your welfare

    He has shown every one of you what is good, and what does the Lord require of you but to act justly, to love mercy and to walk humbly with your God.

    Teach us and enable us to go on being a nation which is a place of welcome and refuge for others; lead us as a people to a new understanding of our place among the nations; bring us to repentance and changed ways; to be less selfish and more generous; to be less afraid of others and more welcoming; to be less angry and more peaceable; to turn down the volume of our own shouting and listen more carefully to what others say, and think, and feel; to be impatient with lies and defenders of truth.

    As your church we pray you will forgive our own part in the divisiveness, by ways we speak, how we treat others, or when we refuse to listen to those we disagree with; forgive the faintness of our light and the lost savour of our salt; make us peacemakers and seekers of justice; fill us with passion for a society where people are safe, where compassion is on the increase, where we learn again the joy of kindness, and in which we walk the way of Jesus with arms open in welcome to the stranger, hands reaching out to the hurting, and feet walking in the narrow ways of loving God and neighbour for Jesus’ sake

    SEEK YOU FIRST THE KINGDOM OF GOD

  • Two Books: And No Such Thing as a Level Playing Field.

    Motherwell BookwormThese two books are memoirs of childhood – growing up they were both book loving, library haunting, intelligent and ambitious to write; both girls grew up to be Guardian columnists and fine journalists.

    But their childhood and growing up years could not be more contrasting.

    Deborah Orr's Motherwell is eye-wateringly frank about herself, her family, her home and the town she lived in till she could leave it.

    Lucy Mangan's Bookworm is the autobiography of a reader whose home life was comfortable, secure and lived in an environment created for flourishing.

    Both books prove one of my guiding principles when it comes to reading for both pleasure and profit – biography and autobiography, when written with integrity, and read with the right balance of compassion and criticism, are amongst the most important vehicles for human understanding.

    Both books are reading time well spent, but they open very different vistas on how our childhood experiences leave emotional and relational legacies that can either undermine or enhance for the rest of our lives. 

    Deborah Orr compels the reader to understand from her perspective the long-term emotional damage caused by parents, teachers, playground bullies, toxic male culture, and the sheer guts and risks involved in making decisions that might help you to survive and go on to live your hopes. Lucy Mangan's account of childhood is altogether less painful to read, and tells of how reading itself populates the imagination with hope and confidence to believe that those hopes are possible to achieve. 

    I think a reading group could well decide to read both books, then talk about what makes for human flourishing in the first years of life, and those so hard to navigate years of growing up and becoming the person we yearn to be, with more, or less success. But whatever we might think personal fulfilment is, in both of these books, two children, two girls, grew into women with careers of their own.

    Even then, the differences create stark contrast; Deborah Orr came late in life to feeling she had the freedom, the right and the capacity to be herself and to come to love herself. Lucy Mangan's account of her years says little of the second half of her life, but the allusions tell a story of a family at ease with itself and its place in the world. 

    Reading these books one after another (I read Bookworm first) was an experience that required a huge swing of the emotional register. It's not that Mangan covers her story in unoffending tones of emulsion; more that Deborah Orr refuses to hide the graffiti that is scrawled across the backdrop of her first twenty years. 

    This isn't so much a book review of two books, pointing out the merits of the writers, or opting for one or other as the better read. They are both proven writers with a feminist agenda; they tell as honestly as they can what happened to them and how they grew out of their childhood; each is an exercise in the writer's self-understanding, Orr being the more unsparing self-critic, and for that reason the more courageous writer, and the most negatively forceful. You live with constant criticism in the home, you begin to believe the bulletins of your own failure. On the other hand Mangan is equally self-perceptive, except the raw experiential experience she has to work with is much less severe in its ongoing impact into adulthood. Her forte is understanding the importance of the nurtured imagination, the emotionally supported explorer of ideas, and her refusal to settle for professional 'arrival' as a lawyer, choosing instead the freelance writer. I'm glad I read both books.

    Apart from anything else reading one after the other confirms what we all know, and what we all require to remember as a moral obligation and an exercise in social understanding; there is no such thing as a level playing field, no way of socially engineering equal opportunity. There is, therefore, no excuse for judging people about the choices they make, until you understand the limits of the choices available, and how those we judge have value added to or subtracted from their lives, by circumstances, people and experiences of which we know nothing. 

    As a footnote, Deborah Orr died late 2019, just weeks before her memoir was published. It has been featured this week on Radio 4 – you can listen here

  • A Walk by the Sea: Recovering the Inner Ebb and Flow of Daily Life

    DSC07658Today I was meeting a friend down at the beach for lunch at 12 noon. We've been friends for nearly 40 years, and I was his minister for nearly half that time. Unassuming, kind, quiet, coping with late life issues of illness, bereavement and the probability that soon it would be best to be within a more sheltered living environment. But a man who is so much more than these encroachments; in his day a very good footballer, a lifelong Christian whose faith oozes faithfulness and integrity, a man whose family love and celebrate him, and he them, and someone for whom hundreds of people thank God or their lucky stars or whatever, that they encountered this serial helper of other folk.

    It's hard to describe the constituent parts of a human friendship – affection, admiration, shared joy and laughter, also shared sorrow and tears, and as well as that memories of life that intertwined with him and his family, and us and our family. So we were meeting to have a soup lunch, a catch up with recent whatever's been happening, and at least some attempt to understand 'the state of the country'!

    DSC07655But before then, I had arrived early enough to have a coffee, before a long walk the length of the beach and back. The tide was out and on the turn, the sea was that January blue that can't be improved by photo-editing, and the waves were in determined mood to draw attention to themselves. The result was a couple of hours of alternating thinking, and not thinking, paying attention to my inner climate but then looking outwards to a world that gets on with what its doing no matter what my inner world is like. The result was a sense of the presence of the Creator who makes waves. The sea is like an extra sacrament to me, a place of grace, of remembered encounters, of healing and hearing, an ancient rhythm of movement, sound and sight. Several times I stopped, stood, waited, wondered, looked, listened, breathed in beauty and breathed out thanks, in general and in particular.

    IMG_2330On the shell-encrusted breakwaters there are usually turnstones feeding. So small, swift, fragile and persistent. Photographed (picture at the top) against the backdrop of the waves, they have perfect timing to skip, fly and dart back, an instinctive ballet performed to the accompaniment of that same ancient rhythm of musical waves. Jesus said, "Look at the birds of the air…" – being the inclusive kind, he would also mean "look at the birds near the sea". Same lesson to be learned. They don't spend their lives anxiously predicting what might happen; instead they go about their lives, turning stones to eat, doing what they do and being what they are.

    A two hour walk becomes a mini pilgrimage along the shore. At one point I stopped for some minutes, camera in my pocket, paying attention to the play of light on water and sand, raking around amongst the multi-coloured pebbles, listening for that pause just as the wave balances for the right moment to tumble. I was obviously absorbed in the pebbles because the wave tumbled noisily enough, but I found myself in six inches of foamy water. I'm obviously less agile than the turnstones.

    By the time my walk was finished the sea had done its work as nature's specialist in sensory therapy. No matter the inner climate, the weather of the heart and the pressures on the inner barometer, the sea is a reliable counsellor. Gathering to itself the words spoken and the more difficult thoughts of guilt and gratitude, washing away the deep footprints of resentment stamped on the sand; and then re-setting the rhythms of come and go, of give and take, enabling us to recover faith in the inner ebb and flow of daily life, as regular as the tides, and as renewing.   

     

  • Tikunn Olam: small seeds of honesty.

    Rebuilding a broken worldThe other day I bought a sausage roll. I was given the wrong change. The person serving me was talking to his colleague and not paying attention. As I walked away I realised I was seventy pence up.

    So I went back, explained, and handed back the right money. The other folk in the queue overheard, the man who made the mistake was very grateful, and said, I quote, “You’re brilliant mate.”  

    I know. Jesus said don’t do the right things in a way that makes you look good. Kindness doesn’t need to be advertised; honesty doesn’t need a Facebook virtue signal. So why publish it here.

    Call it tikkun olam, a rich Jewish phrase that means “to repair the world”. What I did was nothing much; what’s seventy pence in a world obsessed by billions? Small things though. Small seeds of honesty matter; quiet words of kindness help folk walk the next mile; a prayer for hearts broken but not beyond repair, aids the healing; racist words consistently contradicted by words that dignify; this is to be faithful in the small things, “to repair the world”.

  • Tikkun Olam: Redemptive Gestures and the Common Good.

    Tikkun script

    Tikkun Olam is a humane and humanising Hebrew phrase. It is also a moral principle to inspire, guide and enable gestures of redemption, acts of mercy, plans for constructive renewal, commitment to the common good, and much, much more. It is a rich, fertile, flexible but focused phrase. The popular translation is "to repair the world."

    Rebuilding a broken worldThe current political divisions tearing through the political and cultural landscape of Western democracies have not become fissures overnight. The subterranean pressures and forces have been building for a long time, weakening the protective layers of decency, trust, the common good, love of freedom, mercy and care for the vulnerable, inter-cultural co-operation and understanding. In the past few years those fissures have opened and out of them have poured some of the most damaging substances for our human future. The normalisation of lying; the prevalence of divisive speech; building cruelty into systems of assessment for social benefits; the acceptability of "othering", that is emphasising differences and instilling negative emotions towards those we consider "other"; economic policies that fail to control the concentration of wealth and which hardens the social structures that give permanence to poverty; each of these, and much else erodes the common good and corrodes the moral purposefulness of a genuinely democratic and socially responsible society. 

    Tikkun Olam is the moral opposite of such destructive principles. To live with the daily intention of repairing the world requires a different set of motivational triggers; truth instead of lying; words that heal division rather than cause them; compassion and understanding of people, rather than enforcing a system that frightens, humiliates and robs of dignity; welcome and respect as default responses to the stranger who is other than us, but who by befriending would become one of us; generosity, kindness and honesty about money, rather than greed is good, self-interest and making money the primary life-goal. 

    For a while now I've lived with this phrase, Tikkun Olam. It fascinates me to think of human community being constructed with the goal of promoting these two nouns, humanity and community. All around us in daily life situations are going wrong, relationships break down, hearts get broken and people damaged, there's waste and damage to our planet on a scale that threatens the future, social media and all kinds of communication technology call the tune on what we are to think, and algorithms confirm what we like and close out wider choices and tastes. None of this is small stuff. 

    And yet. Tikkun Olam is a disposition to repair what is broken; to heal what is wounded; to give rather than take; to listen as well as speak; and then to speak truth into the darker corners of our own and other hearts. However it is a Jewish phrase, not a mere cliche from some pop psychology or self help manual. Its fuller version is to repair the world under the sovereignty of God. God is Creator; humans are stewards. To repair the world is to work under God's management, and to do the work characteristic of God – creative, purposeful, compassionate, and rich in possibility and the freedom to be.

    IMG_2294Over the next couple of months there will be occasional further explorations into the dynamics and inner levers of this phrase. I will also be working a tapestry based around the Hebrew script and while reading some key passages from the Jewish Wisdom Books, particularly Proverbs and The Wisdom of Ben Sirach (Ecclesiasticus). Well, reading around the theme helps, but it isn't the same as doing it; and tapestry can be a way of meditative absorption into ideas, images and contemplative internalising of thought and emotion, but all that inwardness has to have a purpose beyond itself. That's why there's the need for the spiritual equivalent of drive shafts, those parts of our inner moral mechanisms that transmute motivational energy into actually turning wheels, moving forward and practically, visibly, making a difference.

    So until Easter I'll keep a daily Tikkun Olam Journal. Theological reflection is a way of avoiding overdone introspection and self-concern. Life each day is lived in the presence of God while going our way about the world. The Journal will interact with Scripture, daily experience, and the theological work involved in tracing the presence of God, feeling the nudge of the Holy Spirit, and learning a new, and more simple responsiveness to the world, as one who serves God by being a good steward and a willing repairer of its fabric.    

  • When, without warning, banter becomes a prelude to that moment of trust when heart speaks to heart..

    IMG_2289Sometimes banter slides unintentionally into a conversation where, unexpectedly, heart begins to speak to heart.

    I went into one of my coffee places today and said to the two staff, "So where are the happy people today?" 

    Without a half second pause my bantering partner said, "Aw ye just missed them! Ye'll have to put up wi' us miserable b*ggers!!"

    "How did Christmas and New Year Go?" I asked.

    And her voice wobbled.

    She spent the holidays in bed, then a few days in hospital.

    "I've had my bloods taken, and I've a scan next week."

    And so friendly banter becomes a bridge from one heart to another.

    As a regular we've gotten used to each other's sense of humour. Now all that laughter and joking and kidding each other on, changes into something altogether more meaningful; the encounter of one soul seeking comfort and companionship in a lonely place, with another soul who has his own fears and needs. 

    There are few more testing moments of faith and love and hope, than in those conversations when we are invited to listen, to walk beside, to be a friend. Banter is a prelude to that moment of trust when heart speaks to heart.

    In a few quiet sentences we talk about next week's scan, and afterwards, and when I'm in next week, and the one after. We may talk again. We may not. Whether or not, the promise of my prayers and the sharing of her story now mean we are more than sounding boards for each others banter. Her story and how it unfolds has become important to me, because she has told it, and I have heard it. How that story turns out now matters, because such a conversation becomes a covenant of care, and underlying the words the unspoken acknowledgement that something precious has been handed over.

    Pastoral theology and a life of pastoral ministry never fully prepare you for such astonishing trust and courage.